News flash: Not everything gets done. Either not in the time frame I plan, or sometimes, not ever.
And when I blog, I never mean it to seem more amazing than it was. There are huge chasms that lie between what I want to do, what I plan to do, and what we actually do, mostly because of my health limitations but there are times that life just gets in the way, too.
I’ve learned to have a back up plan…for everything. We had a friend for lunch today. Adrienne wanted to make split pea soup from scratch. But I had 2 large cans of tomato soup in the cupboard as back up in case we didn’t get the split pea soup done.
The pie we made a couple blogposts ago, was a 3 day process. I’ve learned (the hard way) that most projects that look like they are all-in-one-day things can be broken down into pieces so that they can be accomplished in 2 or 3 days. I’m a firm believer in “something is better than nothing”.
For example, Normal Making-of-a Pie:
Plan on making pie. Going to the store for apples and crust. Assemble pie. Bake. Eat.
Didn’t happen. By afternoon, that day I was toast. But we had apples that were given to us. and we actually made it to the store for crust. But then that was it. TWO DAYS later, after school, we did the pie. And yes, we ate it for dinner. (Eating pie for dinner is the best part.)
I’ve never been a woman of great energy, though I admit when the kids were younger, it was way better than now. But I learned then that things can be done in stages. It doesn’t really matter how long it takes to get it done. I can’t/don’t evaluate a day based on how much of the “wishlist” for the day was accomplished. Only that we did our level best to get stuff done.
A wise women once said to me, “If I don’t get anything else done today, but I am kind to the children, that’s all that matters.”
So I won’t sacrifice loving my people and being cheerful and kind on the altar of the list that says we must make a pie. If it takes a week to make a pie, then so-be-it. I’ve learned to be okay with that. And if it never gets done at all, I’m okay with that, too. (Most of the time. Of course, there are days it all makes me very sad. But I can’t live there, with that sadness. I have to accept this day for what it is-a beautiful gift, regardless of my expectations.)
Science, and science experiments are all happening in a very fun and educational way for one reason: someone else is teaching it. My friend, Mary Ann, found out we’d pulled out of public school to come home again and immediately invited us to join her and her kids for science class.
I don’t know what your limitations are (we all have some of them), or what your life looks like, but I want to tell you that it gets hard when you look around at your friends and all the stuff they get done, or all they are doing when you can’t. When you want, more than anything, to be doing more than you are able and can’t, that’s a hard place to be. When you look at your kids and know this is their childhood and you feel like they are missing out on so much because you simply can’t do more than you’re doing, that’s a hard place.
Do what you can even if an apple pie takes a week to complete. And if you just can’t (I’ve been there) buy a can of apple pie filling and plop it on a crust and call it good. And if you just can’t do that either, (more often than not, this is where I live), then just BUY the stupid pie and call it good. Because it’s about the relationship you have with those kids and people around you, not what you can do. Then have apple pie for dinner. Cuz that’s just pretty darn fun.
And as for all the stuff you can’t get done? Then you weren’t meant to do it. It doesn’t make you less of a mom or woman, or friend or wife or whatever. It wasn’t meant to happen. We have to learn to let those things go.
Most people are able to get more stuff done in one day that I can get done in a week-literally. It’s not because I’m lazy or because I put stuff off, but because of the cards I’ve been dealt. It used to make me very very sad. I always felt like a failure a loser.
But I’ve learned to win a different way. (Thank you, Tara.) I’ve learned that I just do the best I can with what I have regardless of what anyone is getting done with what they’ve got and to love my people fiercely. And just that heart, that mindset, that effort, will make a beautiful life.
Go make a beautiful life today. I’m cheering you on.